Relationships Information

Breaking Your Relationship Pattern, Part 2


The first step toward being able to attract and create your ideal relationship is to clear the way for it by eliminating baggage from your past. This baggage refers to any resentments, hurts, or fears you have toward anyone who either was a role model or who participated directly in a relationship with you.

Lots of people carry such baggage for a long time, some even for a lifetime. The sooner you can truly let go of this baggage, the less likely you are to recreate bad situations in current and future relationships.

Dropping this baggage is what I call "getting complete."

How do you get complete? Completion is not a sense or an emotion or even a state of being, but a process. This means there are steps and practical actions that will get you to completion. What stands between you and having a great relationship is acting on these steps.

At the most basic level, completion is an exercise in communication. Imagine you could finally say everything you needed to say to everyone you needed to say it to, no holds barred. Wouldn't that give you a great sense of relief and freedom? In essence, getting complete is getting to communicate everything to everyone, without spending your life looking for everyone from your past or having to deal with less-than-receptive people.

Once you are complete with a situation, the next time you face a similar situation you will be free to choose your actions rather than being run by fear, pain, anger, etc. You may flash back to the old situation, but you will not react based on it. You will no longer have anything but a minute negative emotional response when looking back on hurtful situations. For the majority of the time, you will feel genuine forgiveness toward others and yourself.

The first thing you need to do to get complete is to feel all of your feelings, no matter how unpleasant they may be. How do you feel about your past relationships? Have you swept your feelings under the rug? Are you still secretly pining for someone? What are you afraid of in regards to relationships? Who are you still angry with?

In order to allow yourself to feel, you have to know that feelings, unless they are of the clinical depression or the criminal rage kind, will not kill or hurt you. Most people have either not had the permission or never slowed down enough to feel their feelings. You must give yourself both the time and the permission if any completion is to take place. As long as you don't let yourself feel, you will recreate exactly what you had in the past. If you want something different -- a fulfilling relationship -- you can't afford to recreate the past.

Right now, check in with your feelings and make a list of all the people and situations you need to complete. We will come back to this list.

The second thing you need to do to get complete is to take action. Look for a list of ten action steps in next week's newsletter.

Your Relationship Coach,
Rinatta Paries
www.WhatItTakes.com

About The Author

Do you know how to attract your ideal mate? Do you know how to build a fulfilling relationship, or how to reinvent yours to meet your needs? Relationship Coach Rinatta Paries can teach you the skills and techniques to attract and sustain long-term, healthy partnerships. Visit http://www.WhatItTakes.com where you'll find quizzes, classes, advice and a free weekly ezine. Become a "true love magnet(tm)!"

help@whatittakes.com


MORE RESOURCES:

Examiner.com

Relationship changes: Knowing when to end them
Examiner.com - 2 hours ago
by Ashia Sims, Atlanta Relationship Examiner The holiday season typically means good cheer, gift giving and overeating as we spend lots of time with family ...


Farm Leasing #3: Landowner & Operator Relationships
CattleNetwork.com, KS - 2 hours ago
Nevertheless, the operator has two responsibilities, to himself and to the landowner, and in this series on farm leases; the landlord-tenant relationship is ...


SmartAboutHealth

New York AG Examines Colleges’ Relationships With Health Insurers
NextStudent, Arizona - 16 hours ago
New York Attorney General Andrew Cuomo is investigating the relationships between colleges and the health insurance companies they do business with just two ...
New York Attorney General Investigates Relationships Between ... Kaiser network.org
Cuomo Investigating Colleges’ Deals with Health Insurers New York Times
NY Probes Student Insurance Washington Post
dBTechno - Wall Street Journal Blogs
all 13 news articles


Robert Wood Johnson Foundation Announces Grant Recipients for $18 ...
SYS-CON Media, NJ - 2 hours ago
With 11 sites from around the country, the Start Strong: Building Healthy Teen Relationships (BHTR) initiative will enable communities to create and ...


AASHE conference opens doors, minds to sustainable relationships
The Pendulum, NC - 36 minutes ago
... AASHE already has more than 600 college institution members and has placed an emphasis on the importance of a personal relationship with the environment ...


Canada.com

Ancient graves yield clues to family relationships
The Associated Press - Nov 17, 2008
While tools and remains from the stone age have long been studied, there are few clues to the social relationships between people. ...
Grave Is Oldest DNA Evidence of Family AOL News Newsbloggers
Using a Variety of Tools, Researchers Unravel Tale of German Graves New York Times
Prehistoric Family Values Science Now
Telegraph.co.uk - Times Online
all 305 news articles


Ending Abusive Relationships
Sonoma Valley Sun, CA - 23 hours ago
I am a great believer in the value of commitment in relationships. It is when the threat of abandonment is reduced, by the commitment to work through ...


Crafting Your Image For Your 1000 Friends On Facebook Or MySpace
Science Daily (press release) - 13 hours ago
There are more relationships, but also more superficial relationships. Empathy and other human qualities may get reduced because of less face-to-face ...


Men With Facial Scars Are More Attractive To Women Seeking Short ...
Science Daily (press release) - Nov 18, 2008
Researchers investigated how scarring might impact on mate choice for men and women seeking both long-term and short-term relationships. ...


Gold Price Relationships
Seeking Alpha, NY - 5 hours ago
When talking about value, for many investors it all comes back to gold. How many ounces of gold does it take to purchase an asset, whether it be real estate ...

Relationships - Google News

Home | Site Map| Link Partners

Powered By: Free Google Adsense Websites!

© 2006