| |
| |
|
infoaboutrelationships.com
|
|
|
|
Extramarital Affairs: When Sexual Addiction and Infidelity Meet
One kind of extramarital affair revolves around sexual addiction. The partner involved in the affair, plain and simple, has a difficult time saying "NO." He/she may want to, but feels compelled to say "yes." People can't say no? Well, I believe we all have the capacity, at some level, to say no. However, not all have developed that capacity or reached that level to firmly say no and mean it. Some are "stuck" and seem to lack the ability to consistently act on the "no." Please remember that all of us are "grabbed" by something and find it difficult to let go. Infidelity when connected to sexual addiction and its many forms, however, becomes a powerful focal point. How to know if infidelity is attached to sexual addiction: 1. Sex takes on an inflated role or value. Sex, sexual conquest, sexual release becomes a powerful force. Acting on the sexual impulse is a frequent activity. Thinking about sex likewise consumes an inordinate amount of time. Multiple ways of acting out sexually (porn, strip clubs, multiple sex partners, etc.) are common. 2. This activity is bound by fear. The person lives with fear: the fear of getting caught, the fear of consequences, the fear of "being found out," the fear of being abnormal, the fear of being punished, and the fear of losing family, spouse, job and respect. 3. A promise/failure cycle ebbs and flows with the inability to say no. After an "acting out" episode the person usually experiences guilt/fear and promises to self or others, "I won't do it again." This will last...until the "urge" is acted upon again. The spouse may be aware or unaware (but sense that something is not "right") of the "roller coaster" and succession of broken promises. 4. Others are used or seen as objects for personal gratification. No true intimacy is developed. 5. Sexuality is often confused with other needs or connected to unresolved past pain or trauma. A child who experiences confusion around sexuality or sexual abuse of one form or another, may carry along that confusion and attempt to "work that through" in a marriage or extramarital affairs. (I worked with one woman who "used" a one-night fling with a significant person to "clear up" a particular issue.) She was free of that "urge" from that point on. No one ever knew. Could she have chosen a different way? Maybe. 6. Such a person lives in a distorted world. They come to see the world and relationship through the eyes of their "addiction." They have a great capacity to rationalize their behavior, deceive others and may lead a "dual" life. Tip: If you suspect these characteristics fit you or someone you love, get some help before your world disintegrates further or falls apart. Life can be different. Life, sexuality, a truly intimate relationship IS different. You can get there. You are stuck, and need some true love, care and guidance to arrive at the next level. If you are interested in learning about the 6 other forms of infidelity I outline in my book, "Break Free From the Affair," visit my website. Dr. Robert Huizenga, The Infidelity Coach, has helped hundreds of couples over the past two decades heal from the agony of extramarital affairs and survive infidelity. Visit his website at: http://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com/cmd.php?ad=139627
MORE RESOURCES:
Relationships - Google News |
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Save Your Relationships (5 Easy Steps To A Winning Relationship) We all enter relationships hoping they will make us happy. Each person has a shopping list of hopes and expectations, secret demands he/she makes on their partners. Here Come the Questions Why is it that even though I am not positive if I like a guy, because of course it's only been a week, that when he doesn't call for 3 days it becomes a dramatic incident, and all of a sudden its Fiona Apple time? There is no reason for him to not call; everything was fine last we spoke. With the time frame we are discussing here in the first place it shouldn't even phase me that a man decides to not call for 3 days, or possibly (gulp) never again. Why Anger is Essential to Healthy Relationships Many of us have some very definite ideas about anger. We see anger as destructive and hurtful. Guys Guide To Flowers We are here to help! With these helpful hints on flowers, you will feel more confident about choosing beautiful blooms for that special someone in your life!Something Simple & Sweet-Consider a mixed bouquet of daisies, lilies and wild flowers. This mixed bouquet is appropriate no matter what the occasion. How To Write a Romantic Love Letter Does the thought of writing a love letter or poem automatically reduce your vocabulary to a 5-year-old's level? Well, believe it or not, that's a great place to begin!Kids speak straight from the heart. They don't worry about tripping over the right words, they only know how to say what they want using the most simple language. 10 Things You Probably Didnt Know About Signs of Infidelity Certain things about signs of infidelity come as a surprise to most people. Even people who pride themselves on being knowledgeable about extramarital affairs may be unfamiliar with the little-known facts below. The Battle of the Sexes! During my personal experiences with some of my relationships, I realised an important factor that a couple in any relationship might experience. The same issue reached my conclusion whilst talking with the people I've dealt with during in some of my private consultations. Is Your Negative Thinking Scaring Off Your Soul Mates? Francine Bonnecelli* swore off relationships the day her husband of nine years left her for a twenty-something barmaid in San Francisco. Even though this was her third marriage, she felt three was the charm and, after all, he showed all the qualities in a soul mate and a marriage partner that no one had ever shown her. Loving Without Losing Yourself! You are in love and it feels wonderful. This love is different and you are prepared to do anything to make it last. Are You Fit To Love? is the most important question you'll ever ask yourself. Let's face it, our relationships are extremely important. A Gift From the Heart of a Friend She stares at me and then closes her eyes. A tinge of early dawn plays on her cheek as it peeks through the glass curtains by my desk. The Secret of Relationship Success With a divorce rate in this country that approaches50%, and a fairly sizable percentage of marriages thataren't particularly blissful, it's difficult to avoidsearching for the answer to the battle of the sexes.Would you like to stop searching?We've moved through the old paradigm of gettingyour needs met in relationships, and it has provenitself to be a miserable failure. The First Ninety Days A friend of mine recently commented on the amazing number of romance novels written and the huge amount of money being made in that industry. He then shared his observation that these romance novels don't usually tell their stories beyond the first ninety days or so. Coping with Your Abuser How to cope with your abuser?Sometimes it looks hopeless. Abusers are ruthless, immoral, sadistic, calculated, cunning, persuasive, deceitful - in short, they appear to be invincible. Are the Neighbors Next Door Secretly Swinging? The swinging lifestyle does not discriminate against race, body type, sexuality, social standing or financial stability. There are people successfully living the lifestyle from all walks of life. The Healing Power of Forgiveness People who experience bad health often have major league forgiveness issues in their lives. When we hold negativity in our energy field, inevitably it expresses itself as physical disharmony or bad health. ARC of Understanding In relationship we all make mistakes and sometimes we are insensitive to the needs of others, especially those very close to us All this leads to disappointments and resentments. The answer to handling disappointments is understanding. Are You Chasing Dollars or Your Kids? Striking a perfect balance between work and home todaycan be difficult task for most of us. However, do you everwonder if your spending too much time chasing money andnot enough with your children?Everything in moderation right? Haven't we been told thiscountless times and yet still we tend to find ourselvesconstantly plunging into excess. And They Didnt Even Know I was Looking: Lessons on Love from My Parents I came from good people. I didn't always know that. Improve Your Relationship by Taking Care of Yourself First It's important for you to take care of yourself before you try to fix your relationship. The old saying 'You can't give away what you don't have" applies here.
|
|
Home | Site Map| Link Partners Powered By: Free Google Adsense Websites! |
| © 2006 |
