| |
| |
|
infoaboutrelationships.com
|
|
|
|
Relationship Conflict: Lock Horns or Lock Arms
One of my favorite comic strips growing up was "The Lockhorns." Not so much because it particularly funny (although it was), but because it seemed like a great model for how not to do love relationships. It was not until recently when someone mentioned the phrase "lock horns or lock arms" did I realize what the title of the comic strip really meant. What occurred to me, besides the fact that I can be a little slow sometimes, is that in love relationships, we always have the choice to either lock horns or lock arms. Let's take a quick look at how to lock horns, and then some tips for locking arms that you can take home and use. How to Lock Horns =>Turn your relationship into a competition and keep score. =>Make being right the most important goal in any discussion. =>Take the Sinatra approach: "I did it my way" - be inflexible. =>Regularly bring up offenses of the past. Often and in detail. =>Always fight for the absolute correctness of your perception of things and never make room for your partner's perception. =>put your self first - make sure your needs always get met, at whatever cost. How to Lock Arms Learning to lock arms involves making a commitment to choosing one person and making it work. A fairly radical notion in our divorce prone culture. =>Create a relationship vision. Most couples spend more time planning a two week vacation than they do considering how they would like their relationship to be. Which leads to the question................ =>If we could design this relationship any way we wanted it to be, and we knew we couldn't fail, how would we like it to be? =>Design a relationship that is a "safe-place." Not just safe from physical or emotional abuse, although of course that is crucial. What I mean is create an environment where it is safe to be your self, feel and think what you feel and think, with room to grow as a person. =>Make an ongoing, lifetime commitment to do two things: 1)As much as humanly possible, understand a totally different gender than your own. Not better or worse, just radically different. And, 2)Completely understanding one other person. Part of locking arms is the commitment to work at totally understanding one other person in life. Not always an easy thing to do, but consider how good it could feel to be completely understood by someone. =>Remember that relationship conflict is inevitable. Fighting is optional. It is always a choice. =>Learn to look at the world through the eyes of your partner. You don't have to agree with how they see things, or even understand it completely. You do need to be able to see through their eyes. =>Form a partnership that uses each of your own unique skills to the fullest. The other thing I remember about "The Lockhorns" comic strip was that neither one of them appeared to be very happy with the arrangement. Maybe I'll start a comic strip called "The Lockarms." In the meantime, carry with you the simple reminder "lock horns or lock arms", and see how conflict will go down and your relationship will improve. Leading relationship expert Jeff Herring is a Relationship Coach, Speaker, and Nationally Syndicated Relationship columnist. You can read more practical tips, common sense relationship advice and occasional humor at his websiteSecretsofGreatRelationships.com
MORE RESOURCES:
Relationships - Google News |
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Ulterior Motive Direct Answers - Column for the week of June 7, 2004Life was not this complicated a year ago--said laughing while banging head on keyboard. I can make this short, but there is so much and I want to be fair. Relationship Advice: A Tip from Monica and Chandler of Friends If you are looking for it, you can find relationship advice and wisdom in all kinds of places.I found an important piece of relationship advice recently while watching a "Friends" rerun. True Love - Part 2 Okay, so why would one person feel strongly about the other and the other hardly misses a beat? In my last article, I said that one of the reasons is that the 'despised' one probably isn't the one in the first place. But let's leave the 'despiser' for now and focus on the 'despisee'. Are You Codependent or Independent? Why is it that depending on others to fulfill our self worth isa concept that we all can relate to? Sacrificing what ourthoughts, emotions, decisions, and likes or dislikes are, forthe betterment of someone else's.It is as if depending on the other person who you hold sohigh is more fulfilling then standing alone, independent ofthe other. Are You Fit To Love? is the most important question you'll ever ask yourself. Let's face it, our relationships are extremely important. Ending a Relationship Gracefully Ending a relationship is never easy. When you feel you must end a relationship most people find it challenging as they have feelings towards their partner and do not wish to hurt them. Love or Lust Do you know what the definition of love is? This is it: a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person, an intense personal attachment or affection, a person toward whom love is felt, a strong enthusiasm or liking. Do you know what the definition of lust is? Here it is: intense sexual desire or appetite, an over whelming desire, ardent enthusiasm, to have strong desire. Choosing a Diamond Engangement Ring That She Can't Say No To! So you've decided to propose - congratulations! This is a moment that most women have been dreaming about since they were little girls, so you will want to make it as special as possible for her. And because she is the most adorable woman in the world, you will want to give to her a diamond engangement ring that is as beautiful and unique as she is, so here are some tips to help you choose the ring that is perfect for her. Top 10 Ideas to Revive a Fizzling Relationship Love is exciting, and when a relationship is new, almost everything you do together is fresh and alive, and keeps you enthralled. Then time begins to pass, and while the love is still there, the relationship may have lost some of its sparkle, whether it's because you now have a family or not. Lifelong Partners, Lifelong Growth Many people, maybe even you, think there is only one life partner for each of us in our lives. I've got good news - we all have many, many life partners. Long Distance Relationships - How to Make it Work Long distance relationships are dreadful. I know this because I'm currently living one. Romancing The Senses Romance can be experienced in numerous ways, but it is best enjoyed when you get all your senses in on the action. The following are suggestions for getting the most out of romance, one sense at a time. Are you (or are you with) a Commitment-Phobe? We hear it all the time. "He just won't make a commitment. The Informal Normal In a Black-Tie-Affair World Have you noticed the trend?You ever notice how on programs like "The Bachelor" most of their dating episodes are via limousine escort? They travel to lavish destinations amid scenic splendor. The sunsets are so beautiful you can almost hear nature singing its own rendition of, "Love Is A Many Splendid Thing". Players: How to Deal with Them Eventually, we'll all either play or be played. I'd like to give the inside scoop on how to handle these guys. Romantic Relationships: An Internal Process If you grew up in the 80s like I did, you might remember the group Depeche Mode and their hit "Just Can't Get Enough." It is a song about being obsessed with the idea of being with someone, about needing another person. The Battle of the Sexes! During my personal experiences with some of my relationships, I realised an important factor that a couple in any relationship might experience. The same issue reached my conclusion whilst talking with the people I've dealt with during in some of my private consultations. Unfaithfulness AS I STARED at the sunset, I marveled at its beauty. The scenario got me thinking about an issue a friend had brought up sometime ago. Lovers Quarrel One minute you seem like lovesick turtledoves teasing, laughing and giggling with all your might. Then a few minutes later, you begin yelling and berating each other and a lover's quarrel is already in progress. Great Relationships: 7 Secrets You Must Know to Make It 1. CommitmentTrue commitment means much more than simply committing to staying married.
|
|
Home | Site Map| Link Partners Powered By: Free Google Adsense Websites! |
| © 2006 |
