| |
| |
|
infoaboutrelationships.com
|
|
|
|
Has The Magic Gone From Your Relationship?
Kathleen and Dan have been together for several years now. At first it was magic and Dan was so romantic and attentive. Now he is constantly criticizing her or even worse ignoring her completely. When he's not out with his friends he lays around the house watching T.V. expecting her to wait on him. Just when she thinks that she can't stand it any more, he becomes the old loving, romantic Dan once more; however, this never lasts longer than a few days and then he resumes his old behaviors. Kathleen knows that it's time to for a life change but simply can not bring herself to take action. 1. What you see is what you get. We see or perceive the world based on what we choose to pay attention to and how we choose to interpret it. · If you see yourself trapped, then you are You are responsible for what you are attracting into you life right now. Kathleen is attracting Dan's abuse and neglect primarily because she doesn't have the respect for herself to create any boundaries as to how she expects and deserves to be treated. She is choosing to see herself as a victim, trapped in this relationship. Kathleen sees Dan as the problem; if only he would change then her life would be better. His behavior is rendering her powerless in her eyes. Choose what you are choosing to pay attention to and how you choose to interpret it. Choose carefully what you want to see. 2. We always have choices and the one with the most choices wins! Kathleen is choosing to accept Dan's behavior and she really thinks that she has very little choice in the matter. Dan sees that he has an infinite number of choices at the moment and this has given him an enormous amount of power. He is very much like the puppet master pulling the strings. Choose to change your behavior by identifying more and better choices. 3. We have a good excuse for everything that we do. Every behavior is useful or valuable to us in some way. Kathleen's submissive behavior is useful to her in that it reinforces her view of herself as a victim with no choices. Dan's behavior is valuable to him as it reinforces his belief that he is master of his domain. Choose now to determine what is valuable for you in a situation. 4. We do what works for us. Everything that we think, feel and do works to produce the results in life that we are getting. Kathleen's relationship with Dan is on some unconscious level helping her achieve exactly the results that she wants. Don't like what you've got, choose now to change what your doing. 5. You can literally do anything if you believe that you can. What does Kathleen believe about herself that requires her staying in an unhealthy relationship? What ever she believes she will always find lots of evidence in the world to support it. If she listened to her 'self talk' every time she thinks about leaving Dan, she would soon find out what she believes. · I'll never get someone new. It's better to put up with what I've got Choose to examine your beliefs and change them. You created them; you can change them. Look for evidence in the world to support the new belief. 6. Act as if you already have what you want. If you really want to be loved then be loving, not only to others but also to yourself. If you want respect then be respectful, not only to others but also to yourself. Determine what it is that you really want to achieve then behave as if you already have it. If Kathleen wants a loving relationship based on mutual respect then she needs to model those essential qualities not only by how she treats others, including Dan, but also by how she treats herself. In Kathleen's case if she was more loving and respectful of herself she would draw some definite boundaries as to how she expects to be treated. If she really loved and respected Dan then she would expect more from him as well. Lesley Cordero is the President of Cordero Consulting offering personal growth solutions in the form of workshops, keynote presentations, and Internet information resources. Subscribe to her free bi-weekily ezine "Deep Linking" at http://www.LesleyCordero.com and begin to connect with what is really important in your life. Are you ready to 'see things differently?'®
MORE RESOURCES:
Relationships - Google News |
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Do Men Just Want Mommy? Accomplished women are losers in romance claims NY Times columnist Maureen Dowd in her column titled "Men Just Want Mommy." She says powerful men want to marry women who are caretakers like secretaries, assistants, nannies, flight attendants, etc. Relationship Advice: A Few Observations on Marriage and Relationships Here are a few observations on marriage and relationships.Information ExplosionJust the other day, a couple in their late 60s said a remarkable thing to me. The Lies That Saved a Judges Life What is empathy? Many people confuse empathy with sympathy, but empathy is really much more. My dictionary defines it as "the quality or process of entering fully, through imagination, into another's feelings or motives. Very Old Secret To Melt The Heart Of Your Beloved My Dear Lover,Communication is one of the key ingredients for the success of aLong Distance Relationship.You can communicate by messenger, by phone, by email, by web cams,by snail mail, etc. Legal Agreement to Cohabitate Between Unmarried Persons THIS AGREEMENT is made and entered into this Third day of March, in the City of CITY, COUNTY County, Tennessee, by and between DAVID (hereinafter referred to as CLARK and MARTHA (hereinafter referred to as STEWART with reference to the following facts:A. The parties to this agreement are not now, never have been, and do not contemplate becoming married to one another. Secrets Your Husband/Significant Other Dont Want You to Know 1. He Only Pretends Not to Listen. Five Telltale Signs That A Role Reversal Relationship Could Be Right For You Powerful, accomplished women intimidate some men, but fascinate others. If you are a feisty, take-charge kind of gal, you've probably had your share of problems with men and wonder if you'll ever find Mr. Do You Enable? We all have behaviors, tendencies, patterns, and the keenability to recognize any and all of them. However, whenwe become so accustomed and engrossed in them, how dowe know we are enabling someone else's negativebehaviors?It can be sometimes difficult to come to this realization,because it is has been such a seemingly normal way of lifefor a designated period of time. The Male Rating System While not necessarily New Age in nature, Samantha has noticed a lot of clients asking questions about their potential beaus lately and she thought this refreshing change might be just what was needed to help our female Realm members keep things in perspective regarding their male paramours. Enjoy!-David -Believe it or not, if you go into forums on web sites that are devoted to the subject of how to pick up girls, you will find people posting messages about something that is called the mating rating system. Hold Em or Fold Em? Like a great game of poker, knowing when to "Hold Em" and when to "Fold Em" is a great phenomenon to some of us. Our lives and loves are much like a game of poker, you start out with a full pot and slowly over time the rewards either multiply or diminish. Extreme Breakup Recovery: Maximum Healing / Minimum Time If you are going through the emotional rollercoaster of a breakup, feeling pain, anger and depression, know this: You don't need to suffer one more day over your ex! It doesn't matter how long you have suffered, it is time to give up the pain and open up to a life free of pain.You may feel that you can't stop clinging on to the past, but by clinging on to the past, you are stopping life. Universal Laws for Couples The Law of Connection: Spouses are either growing closer or growing apart. You don't get to stand still in relationships for very long. Think INSIDE the Square to Keep Those Love Fires Burning I was sitting in my sanctuary in my back yard contemplating the world's mysteries and minding my own business when a fellow neighbor walked up to me and started a conversation. As he looked a little distressed, I invited him into my little spiritual oasis and offered him a cup of coffee. Are Women Really Superior to Men? While doing my search for this idea, I came across something interesting on the web. At a hospital the relatives gathered in the waiting room, where a family member lay gravely ill. Pen Pal Romance We have all heard the wonderfully romantic stories of pen pals that wrote to each other for years without meeting because they lived hundreds or even thousands of miles apart. Some friend of a friend set them up as pen pals or she decided to write to some unknown soldier away at war. Tom Cruise & Katie Holmes--Celebrity Romance Actors Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are having a hard time convincing people of their sudden hot and heavy romance. In a poll taken in New York City's Times Square, over 2/3 of the respondents believed that the Cruise and Holmes romance is a publicity stunt due to their upcoming movie releases (Cruise's War of the Worlds and Holmes' Batman Begins. Travel to Find a Russian Bride Do you agree that the best lessons are lessons given to you by other people who have already made some mistakes so that you wouldn't repeat them? We are going to have a detailed observation of a certain man's trip. When coming to Russia he managed to make a lot of mistakes and he can hardly calm down with the idea of getting wiser and more experienced. The Egoistic Friend What are friends for and how can a friendship be tested? By behaving altruistically, would be the most common answer and by sacrificing one's interests in favour of one's friends. Friendship implies the converse of egoism, both psychologically and ethically. How to Handle a Cheating Partner Most people do not understand the nature of cheating within a relationship. Let's begin by taking a look at that before going any further. Has The Magic Gone From Your Relationship? Kathleen and Dan have been together for several years now. At first it was magic and Dan was so romantic and attentive.
|
|
Home | Site Map| Link Partners Powered By: Free Google Adsense Websites! |
| © 2006 |
